One-third of the way

Drum roll please....... Weighed in on Monday after 3 weeks on the Releans and 800 calorie diet. Total weight lost for 3 weeks?

18.5 pounds!!!!

So, so, so psyched about that. I basically matched my first weigh-in, which they said isn't common, so I was doing well. Guess those slight cheats here and there with the carbs didn't sabotage me completely after all.

Over the next month I'll be allowed around 1,300 calories and (oh glorious day) be allowed eggs, cheese, yogurt, more fruits, ham, tuna, milk. Basically everything but carbs/starch and sugar. They're upping the phentermine since I'm going to try a month off the HCG. I've started upping the exercise intensity to offset the increase in calories.

It feels like I'm finally getting control over food and having an easier time stopping before the bottom of the (fill in the blank). I really think I will be able to maintain once I reach my goal weight. Monday's weigh-in was just the motivation boost I needed. On to the next month!!!

A dress called Hope

For possibly the first time in years I actually enjoyed walking around a mall. I was able to look at stores and window displays that sold clothes I could never hope to fit into before and honestly believe I will someday be able to shop there.

Instead of looking at that cute dress and feeling depressed that I was twice the width of the mannequin, I can look at the dress as a goal. More importantly, I'm not looking toward food as a reward.

Even better news? I'm having some pants and shorts taken in next weekend!!! Hopefully the first of many alterations to my wardrobe. Do you think I can justify a new wardrobe to my husband? :P

Hello, brick wall

Today has been rough, really rough. I've been really emotional and came close to throwing in the diet towel today. At lunch it was hard for me to put one more forkful of lettuce into my mouth. Of course the minute I came home from work I hit the carbs, but in moderation. Only a handful of crumbled tortilla chips on my grilled chicken with salsa on top. I also had a couple of (oh so very thin) slices of cheese (no carbs, but still a diet no-no) and my usual green beans. Not really a lot of extra ounces of food, just some of what I can't have.

I weigh in on Monday. I don't plan on telling them about the small cheats. But I'm realizing that I need those little bursts to keep me on track. I'd rather slide down the hill a few steps than fall off the mountain completely. It's also been eye-opening to see where my food weaknesses are and what triggers me to reach for food. This diet has been a life examination and I wonder why I never did this before. I have to decide whether I'm going to do another month of HCG or just continue with the phentermine alone. Before I decide, I want to know if I'm still only allowed 800 calories. :)

That's it. Just feeling a little down today and needed to get it down.

To all 3 of you who read this blog, sorry this latest post is a week after the last one. Life.

I don't have much new to say about the diet, just counting down until the next weigh-in on Monday and enjoying the feeling of having my pants, shorts, etc. slide almost completely off my hips without unbuttoning them....I'm sorry, but that's just the coolest feeling in the world!!!

This past weekend I visited my parents for a few days. Mom was really great about having all the food for my diet on hand so I wouldn't have to eat what I can't. However, there were temptations:
1. Valentino's Grand Italian Buffet. Anyone who knows me knows I LOVE PIZZA LIKE AIR. I managed to walk by the pizza a couple of times and not weep while clinging to the pepperoni. My grand buffet: salad greens, one small ladle of dressing and a 1-inch diameter cheddar biscuit. I am so bad. :)
2. Fairbury Tomboy hot dogs
3. Bratwurst. I'm German. Sue me.
4. Sesame seed hamburger buns.
5. Birthday cake with butter cream frosting.
6. Cherry pie

Here's my confession: I had half of a hamburger bun, a finger swipe of frosting and a half of a half a slice of pie. The result? Overwhelming guilt and a stomach that revolted that night from the "not normal" food I had eaten. So I guess one part of this body is getting used to the diet. I snapped back into line the next day and since. Now, on to the weigh-in.

P.S. To those who have sent their encouraging comments, THANK YOU. It really helps to read them after a particularly tough day or when I'm craving that oatmeal creme pie in the pantry. You guys are the best!

First week down!

9.5 pounds!!!!

Yesterday I had my first weigh-in after 6 days on the Releana (HCG), phentermine with the 800 calorie diet plan. I actually think my stomach is shrinking and getting used to the diet's foods. I have never been happier looking at a scale! I can actually say I was eager and excited to weigh in. I'm anxious to see what the next two weeks will result in!

I'm a horrible, weak person....but Doritos are sooo good!

Okay, I caved. I wanted something crunchy (and have for a couple days now). Then I'm standing in front of the pantry and looking at the basket full of chips. I don't want my hand to reach for the Cool Ranch Doritos, but it is. And those 6 chips have never tasted so good!

I stepped on the scale today. They told me not to but I was curious. Near as I can tell, I've lost SEVEN POUNDS since Tuesday, July 8!!! That's amazing. I can't wait to see how much more I lose before I weigh in on Monday.

Current weight: 220

Goal weight: 153

Day three

I have never felt so hungry. The 800 calories has been tough. And it seems like I notice EVERY McDonald's, Burger King, Taco Bell, pizza place, etc. that I drive past, even though I know they've been there all along. Now it seems like they're leaping into the middle of the road and jumping on the hood of my car. After three days, I definately know where my weakness is....carbs, carbs, carbs. I want bread, chips, potatoes, pasta, sugar, brownies, cookies, did I mention bread? 30 days of no carbs is gonna be tough. I just keep thinking "30 days at a time" and eventually I'll at least be able to take a bite of a cupcake. Oh, and moderation is not something I'm good at either. After I get home from work I find myself hiding in the bedroom watching tv, or downstairs on the laptop/watching tv, anywhere but upstairs where the kitchen is within my line of sight.
On the upside, though, I feel like I've lost some weight and I don't feel bloated or swollen. My clothes are already fitting differently and the program has been easy to follow so far. I have to admit that I can see I'm gonna get tired of grilled chicken and strawberries, etc. I long for pizza!! :)

Load days

I'm on the tail-end of my second "load" day before starting the HCG protocol weight loss program. It's been like planning my last meal. Donuts? Check. Non-diet soda? Check. Pizza? Check. Alcohol? Check. Bratwurst? Check.
Tomorrow will be the big day - green beans, chicken, fruit (and not much of any of them). If I hadn't already seen the "after" effects on family and other bloggers out there I'm not sure I'd have the willpower to do it. That's where this website will come in. Hopefully I can work through some emotions and feelings about food here. And hopefully others might read this and be inspired or amused. I'm debating taking a before picture mostly because I'm not sure I want a picture of me with nothing on but my skivies put on this site. I think I'll spare the rest of blogdom and keep the before picture to myself.
The next time you'll hear from me I'll probably be cranky and hungry....but on my way to a healthier lifestyle.

Starting weight: 227
Goal weight: 154