Update: Almost 6 months in

A brief update to all three of you that follow my ramblings:

I think I'm near the 50-pound mark. I am also within 3 pounds of comfortably fitting into a size 14 jeans....from Old Navy!!!!! I can't begin to explain how excited that makes me. I haven't been that size since 2000. EIGHT YEARS!!!!!

When I started this diet I thought I could lose some weight, but never this much. I have to admit that I'm surprised I've been able to commit to this lifestyle change. And it truly is a lifestyle change. And I think it's one I can maintain. But perhaps most importantly I think I've realized that I deserve to be healthy and fit and not hide behind baggy clothes and extra weight. I just needed to start believing in myself.

Now that I'm all hip and stuff and on Facebook. I'll post some photos on the blog in case anyone wants to see the slimmer me.

I used to enjoy the holidays...

Fudge. Peanut butter fudge. Chocolate covered pretzels and, well, anything. Toffee bars. Peanut butter and chocolate ball thingies. Peanut butter cookies with the Hershey's kisses in the middle.

Just remind myself: "Only one a day not the whole plate." How many days until New Year's??

Over the hump

The latest monthly weigh-in was much more satisfying than last time. NINE POUNDS from the end of October to end of November. That makes a grand total of......42 pounds lost so far!! I only have 28 pounds left to hit my goal.

One of the best things is that I don't have to struggle to find something to wear in the morning. I don't have that group of clothes called "Things I'd like to wear but don't want to try-on and get depressed." That group has been replaced with the new group: "Things I never thought I'd wear again, and are now too big."

I'm really starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. If I can hit goal, I'll be at my pre-baby, wedding weight!! And that is pretty excited.

Ugh. A plateau

I can't believe it's been a month since I last posted!
In that time I have to admit I've slipped off the wagon a bit (or is it on the wagon, whatever). Carbs. Carbs. Carbs.
They are my nemesis. Let's see: Muffins, pumpkin pie, miniature candy bars. Mind you none of them were in excess. I was still hitting my calories and working out regularly. But the results showed on Monday...... only lost 1 pound in the month. I've been averaging 6-8 per month. People told me that it was still a loss, but it was a downer. And a wakeup call for me to get back in gear.
So I'm detoxing this week from the carbs. Totally. Completely. Back to the rules. I've learned my lesson. I think I slipped because now that I'm halfway, I'm finding it difficult to keep up the program. It's been almost four months. And when I think about it being for the rest of my life it's kinda depressing. I've figured out that it's all about balance with me. I can't eat like I used to, but the carbs are an addiction and I have to learn not to feed it. The doc office told me to get back on the phentermine, which I had been skipping because I had been forgetting to take it, and I got cocky :). I'm also taking a supplement to reduce the carbs and sugar cravings. We'll see.
I've got a couple of major test coming up in the next week. Vegas weekend and free election night pizza at work. Yikes. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about facing the famous Vegas buffets. And I love pizza.....a lot.
So stay tuned and I'll report how it goes.

Long time no post

Wow! I haven't posted in a loooooong time. I know there are four of you waiting with anticipation for my next entry. :)

The diet is plugging along. Getting in the regular workouts. The weird thing is that my body feels crappy if I don't make it in to exercise. I guess my body likes to workout.....who knew? :)
I did have a happy moment a couple of weeks ago: I actually tried on and purchased a pair of jeans at Eddie Bauer. I swear I almost burst out crying in the dressing room. It was like they were made for me. And they were a little loose. No sausage pants for me!! Julia said "Mommy, you're beautiful when you lose weight!" From the mouths of babes! I also bought a real-life dress, too, which was really great. I know the rest of the 70 pounds might come off slower, but now that I'm over the "hump" I think I can slowly but surely whittle off the last half. Next doctor weigh-in is Monday, keep your fingers crossed!!

P.S. I've added the link to the best. jeans. ever. Click on the title of the post to see 'em.

HALFWAY THERE!!!

Yes, it's true. I'm officially halfway to my goal of 70 total pounds lost!! And this morning I actually had to put on three different pairs of pants before I found a pair that a) didn't fall off me and b) didn't look like clown pants in the legs and rear end. :) I might have to buy some new clothes this weekend....oh darn!

So, Monday's weigh-in: 5 more pounds for a total of 35. (happy dance)

Best. Workout. Playlist. Ever.

Current fave workout playlist (if you're not a fan of mainstream hip hop or heavier rock music this might not be for you). Timed out for 40 min on treadmill and 20 on the eliptical.

1. "Woke Up This Morning (Chosen One)" - A3
The pulsing beat and build of the song get you in a good frame of mind to work out. You can just picture Tony driving the Suburban! :)
2. "Umbrella" - Rihanna (feat. Jay Z)
Good starter song as you warm up
3. "The Real Slim Shady" - Eminem (explicit)
Love me some Slim when I'm sweating it out.
4. "Romeo" - Basement Jaxx
5. "Gone Daddy Gone" - Gnarls Barkley
I love the Femmes, but this has a better beat to pound out on the treadmill
6. "Champion" - Kanye West
7. "Stronger" - Kanye West
The best cardio song in the world!
8. "Don't Stop The Music" - Rihanna
9. "Disturbia" - Rihanna
10. "Ready For A Good Time" - AC/DC
We're going to start rocking out now.
11. "Paralyzer" - Finger Eleven
12. "Bleed It Out" - Linkin Park
13. "Movies" - Alien Ant Farm
14. "Like I Do" - Melissa Etheridge
15. "Vertigo" - U2
16. "Ain't Nothing Wrong With That" - Robert Randolph and Family Band
If you want something to make you move, any of his stuff will work, good towards the end when you don't think you'll make it
17. "Jailbreak" - Thin Lizzy
You may laugh, but it's great for the eliptical
18. "Run Runaway" - Slade
19. "Burning Down The House "- Tom Jones
20. "Short Skirt, Long Jacket" - Cake
My personal anthem and a great song to make you feel good about yourself after a workout

Two months down

I had my two-month weigh in Monday. Outcome was about what I expected: 30 total pounds in two months. Almost halfway to my goal.

Unfortunately, I lost more muscle weight than they'd like to see, so I have to drink these flavored protein packets in water to make sure I'm getting enough. I was afraid that might happen. I noticed that I wasn't hitting that 100 gram mark when I wrote things down each day. Hopefully this will help. Still exercising, though, and not hating it!

A side note: pulled out pairs of pants that hadn't fit in years and years that I had stuffed in the back of the closet. Between work pants and jeans I now have 10 new pairs of pants I didn't have before! So the jeans and pants that are too big now went on the top shelf of the closet, hopefully never to be worn again.

To all the food I've loved before

Things I haven't eaten in 46 days:

Potatoes: Fried, scalloped, mashed, baked or in chip form.
Cheesecake: Any flavor
Chocolate fudge brownies (you know, the kind that's more like batter than cake, the kind that you want to sit down with before baking, cradling the mixing bowl in your lap and scooping up the gooey, fudgy batter with that spatula that's already covered in batter that you'll just wash off anyway, so...)
Pizza Hut cheese breadsticks
Amigo's nachos (or nachos from any other Mexican fast food joint)
Cold Stone Creamery: Any flavor

Things I wish I could have eaten over the last 46 days:
All of the above.

Keep on losin'

A much happier weigh-in yesterday.....FIVE MORE POUNDS. I'm almost halfway to my goal. I can't believe it's been almost two months since I started. I'm close to 30 total pounds lost...in two months!!! It gives me the will to stick with the diet, even though I've had no potatoes in that time. :)

More than "just a sweater"

VICTORY!! Today I officially purchased a sweater at a "normal" store.....and it wasn't the biggest size they carry!!! I also tried on a pair of pants that weren't as successful. 5-10 more pounds and I'm there. What was wierd though? I had no clue what size I was now....and I petrified to try anything on for fear that it wouldn't fit and I would be totally discouraged. But I survived, and got a cute sweater out of it!

Bummer of a Monday

I may have hit a plateau. I weighed myself Monday (I'm doing that weekly) and I stayed the same. Bummer. I think it may be retaining water (happens every month), which with me can be as much as 5 pounds. My eating over the last week was no different. Or maybe my body is getting used to the reduced calories and not reacting like it did before. I'm going to try more exercise to try and kick-start things. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that next Monday will go better. On a more positive note: I pulled two skirts from the back of my closet that I haven't worn in 3-4 years. They fit! A little snug, but two pounds will take care of that!!

The sewing machine doesn't lie

What's a good way to see your diet progress? Have SEVEN pairs of pants taken in as much as TWO INCHES!!! That really was rewarding seeing my mom pin where the pants needed to be taken in. Because I see myself everyday, I guess I don't really see the pounds dropping.

Last week I lost a little over four pounds. Not as good as the weeks before, but I had a birthday party for my daughter and a bridal shower where the food was not very HCG friendly. Considering, four pounds is pretty good.

I'm now into the second day of the 1300 calorie phase with the 30mg phentermine. It's kind of a hassle writing down everything I eat, and I'm seeing where my calorie weaknesses are, but all is good so far. And I'm upping the frequency of exercise.

Onward and downward (in pounds, that is)!

One-third of the way

Drum roll please....... Weighed in on Monday after 3 weeks on the Releans and 800 calorie diet. Total weight lost for 3 weeks?

18.5 pounds!!!!

So, so, so psyched about that. I basically matched my first weigh-in, which they said isn't common, so I was doing well. Guess those slight cheats here and there with the carbs didn't sabotage me completely after all.

Over the next month I'll be allowed around 1,300 calories and (oh glorious day) be allowed eggs, cheese, yogurt, more fruits, ham, tuna, milk. Basically everything but carbs/starch and sugar. They're upping the phentermine since I'm going to try a month off the HCG. I've started upping the exercise intensity to offset the increase in calories.

It feels like I'm finally getting control over food and having an easier time stopping before the bottom of the (fill in the blank). I really think I will be able to maintain once I reach my goal weight. Monday's weigh-in was just the motivation boost I needed. On to the next month!!!

A dress called Hope

For possibly the first time in years I actually enjoyed walking around a mall. I was able to look at stores and window displays that sold clothes I could never hope to fit into before and honestly believe I will someday be able to shop there.

Instead of looking at that cute dress and feeling depressed that I was twice the width of the mannequin, I can look at the dress as a goal. More importantly, I'm not looking toward food as a reward.

Even better news? I'm having some pants and shorts taken in next weekend!!! Hopefully the first of many alterations to my wardrobe. Do you think I can justify a new wardrobe to my husband? :P

Hello, brick wall

Today has been rough, really rough. I've been really emotional and came close to throwing in the diet towel today. At lunch it was hard for me to put one more forkful of lettuce into my mouth. Of course the minute I came home from work I hit the carbs, but in moderation. Only a handful of crumbled tortilla chips on my grilled chicken with salsa on top. I also had a couple of (oh so very thin) slices of cheese (no carbs, but still a diet no-no) and my usual green beans. Not really a lot of extra ounces of food, just some of what I can't have.

I weigh in on Monday. I don't plan on telling them about the small cheats. But I'm realizing that I need those little bursts to keep me on track. I'd rather slide down the hill a few steps than fall off the mountain completely. It's also been eye-opening to see where my food weaknesses are and what triggers me to reach for food. This diet has been a life examination and I wonder why I never did this before. I have to decide whether I'm going to do another month of HCG or just continue with the phentermine alone. Before I decide, I want to know if I'm still only allowed 800 calories. :)

That's it. Just feeling a little down today and needed to get it down.

To all 3 of you who read this blog, sorry this latest post is a week after the last one. Life.

I don't have much new to say about the diet, just counting down until the next weigh-in on Monday and enjoying the feeling of having my pants, shorts, etc. slide almost completely off my hips without unbuttoning them....I'm sorry, but that's just the coolest feeling in the world!!!

This past weekend I visited my parents for a few days. Mom was really great about having all the food for my diet on hand so I wouldn't have to eat what I can't. However, there were temptations:
1. Valentino's Grand Italian Buffet. Anyone who knows me knows I LOVE PIZZA LIKE AIR. I managed to walk by the pizza a couple of times and not weep while clinging to the pepperoni. My grand buffet: salad greens, one small ladle of dressing and a 1-inch diameter cheddar biscuit. I am so bad. :)
2. Fairbury Tomboy hot dogs
3. Bratwurst. I'm German. Sue me.
4. Sesame seed hamburger buns.
5. Birthday cake with butter cream frosting.
6. Cherry pie

Here's my confession: I had half of a hamburger bun, a finger swipe of frosting and a half of a half a slice of pie. The result? Overwhelming guilt and a stomach that revolted that night from the "not normal" food I had eaten. So I guess one part of this body is getting used to the diet. I snapped back into line the next day and since. Now, on to the weigh-in.

P.S. To those who have sent their encouraging comments, THANK YOU. It really helps to read them after a particularly tough day or when I'm craving that oatmeal creme pie in the pantry. You guys are the best!

First week down!

9.5 pounds!!!!

Yesterday I had my first weigh-in after 6 days on the Releana (HCG), phentermine with the 800 calorie diet plan. I actually think my stomach is shrinking and getting used to the diet's foods. I have never been happier looking at a scale! I can actually say I was eager and excited to weigh in. I'm anxious to see what the next two weeks will result in!

I'm a horrible, weak person....but Doritos are sooo good!

Okay, I caved. I wanted something crunchy (and have for a couple days now). Then I'm standing in front of the pantry and looking at the basket full of chips. I don't want my hand to reach for the Cool Ranch Doritos, but it is. And those 6 chips have never tasted so good!

I stepped on the scale today. They told me not to but I was curious. Near as I can tell, I've lost SEVEN POUNDS since Tuesday, July 8!!! That's amazing. I can't wait to see how much more I lose before I weigh in on Monday.

Current weight: 220

Goal weight: 153

Day three

I have never felt so hungry. The 800 calories has been tough. And it seems like I notice EVERY McDonald's, Burger King, Taco Bell, pizza place, etc. that I drive past, even though I know they've been there all along. Now it seems like they're leaping into the middle of the road and jumping on the hood of my car. After three days, I definately know where my weakness is....carbs, carbs, carbs. I want bread, chips, potatoes, pasta, sugar, brownies, cookies, did I mention bread? 30 days of no carbs is gonna be tough. I just keep thinking "30 days at a time" and eventually I'll at least be able to take a bite of a cupcake. Oh, and moderation is not something I'm good at either. After I get home from work I find myself hiding in the bedroom watching tv, or downstairs on the laptop/watching tv, anywhere but upstairs where the kitchen is within my line of sight.
On the upside, though, I feel like I've lost some weight and I don't feel bloated or swollen. My clothes are already fitting differently and the program has been easy to follow so far. I have to admit that I can see I'm gonna get tired of grilled chicken and strawberries, etc. I long for pizza!! :)

Load days

I'm on the tail-end of my second "load" day before starting the HCG protocol weight loss program. It's been like planning my last meal. Donuts? Check. Non-diet soda? Check. Pizza? Check. Alcohol? Check. Bratwurst? Check.
Tomorrow will be the big day - green beans, chicken, fruit (and not much of any of them). If I hadn't already seen the "after" effects on family and other bloggers out there I'm not sure I'd have the willpower to do it. That's where this website will come in. Hopefully I can work through some emotions and feelings about food here. And hopefully others might read this and be inspired or amused. I'm debating taking a before picture mostly because I'm not sure I want a picture of me with nothing on but my skivies put on this site. I think I'll spare the rest of blogdom and keep the before picture to myself.
The next time you'll hear from me I'll probably be cranky and hungry....but on my way to a healthier lifestyle.

Starting weight: 227
Goal weight: 154